The Cult of the Pink Cadillac

Wow, this week has been so insane I haven't had a chance to update this blog. I was planning for my next article to be about Howl's Moving Castle, which I saw last weekend, but since it took me so long to update I think I'd better share why it was such a crazy week... I was targeted by the Cult of the Pink Cadillac, better known as the Mary Kay home based cosmetics business.

It started out very simply. A coworker of mine, let's call her MK, decided to become a Mary Kay 'hobby consultant'- someone who registers with them basically to purchase their products at a discount. She asked all the women on our team at work if they wanted to order anything, and quite a few said they would. Several people expressed interest in attending a facial party. We tend to trade hosting these types of parties back and forth among our group, and I hadn't done one for a while, so I volunteered to host the party. That meant I had an immediate need this week to clean my living room (which currently looks immaculate, just so you know). But....

MK asked me, as long as I was hosting the party and all, would I mind going to her weekly consultants meeting with her. I know you don't want to become a consultant, she said. But the meetings are fun, we practice our makeup applications, and I get bonus contribution points for bringing a friend, she said. It's just an hour, and your place is on my way there, so I can pick you up. Sounds like fun, right?

If you answered no to the above question, you are wiser than I. Instead, I agreed to spend last Wednesday night at her meeting. She said the meeting started at 7, but pulled up to my house at 5:30. Thinking I had misremembered the time, I just grabbed my purse and went out the door. We showed up at the meeting place (a cheap hotel's conference room) about 6.

Once I leave work, I tend to be a jeans and t-shirt type of person, so since I had no preparation time, that's how I went. I felt seriously underdressed. Everyone in the room was in expensive dress suits. I was introduced to an excitable blonde we'll call Bambi, the district sales representative running the meeting. Bambi explained to me, gently, that Mary Kay people dress up because in order to be successful, you have to look successful. I wasn't quite sure at that point what exactly that meant, but we will get to that later. After a few hellos and putting up a picture of two red suited women with the phrase “Arrive in Red” blazoned across the top, everyone found their seats.

First, Bambi advised everyone that they needed to get a flip book. This is a little folder-like thing that opens out into a little wedge shaped display with clear pages, so you can have one facing your audience and a second facing you. This is important, so I was told, so that you don't miss any of the important steps in the presentation and you can have your own notes on your side. Bambi stressed that you must NEVER skip any of the steps from the presentation, especially the part about how easy it is to become a Mary Kay representative. I had always thought of Mary Kay as a slightly more genteel version of Avon, but I was beginning to get the idea that this was MLM (multi level marketing) and I really wasn't liking the idea much.

While I was coming to this (belated) realization, Bambi was giving us all the presentation, along with her suggestions on how to give each page of the presentation more impact. She explained that she did this for the group every week; because this presentation was most crucial part of the Mary Kay party and everyone should always be looking for ways to make this presentation better. For the most part, it was pretty standard stuff: this is what makes our products so special, here's a little bit about our history, etc. When she got to the part about how easy it is to join up, I got a real eye opener. This page, Bambi explained, is where you want to put your "I Story". An "I Story" is your personal testimonial on how selling Mary Kay has transformed your life, making you happier, more successful, and better in bed. I may be misremembering the details here. ;) Even if you've just started Mary Kay, Bambi advised us, you need a powerful "I Story", so don't be afraid to punch it up a little. People need to hear about how much money you're making so easily, so they will join Mary Kay, adding to the number of “active and qualified consultants” that report to you. In a worst case scenario, she said, one out of every ten people you give your presentation to should agree to become a Mary Kay consultant. That number struck me as more than a little unrealistic, but fortunately pizza arrived just then, so I didn't get the chance to question that figure.

As we all lined up to get our pizza, I took the opportunity to surreptitiously check my watch. It was already past seven, and obviously we were just getting started. Once we had our plates filled, there was a DVD to watch. This DVD, I was told, is designed for the potential recruit whose husband is resistant to the idea of them joining up. This 45 minute presentation was filled with top tier Mary Kay ladies and their spouses, explaining how selling Mary Kay was the best decision they ever made. About half the shots had the husbands explaining how Mary Kay allowed their wives to stay at home to raise the kids (apparently every woman's Holy Grail) and focus on truly important things like their home. The other half featured the women explaining how effortlessly they'd gone from doing facial parties to managing networks of thousands of Mary Kay reps, while their husbands gazed at them adoringly. This DVD also finally answered one of my questions: what the heck is an “active and qualified representative”? It turns out that is someone you've recruited who is buying from the company at least $200 in product every two weeks. Not selling, mind you, because the company doesn't actually track that. Just buying.

At the end, Bambi (whose perkiness was now becoming annoying) bounced back to the front of the room. "Wasn't that inspiring?" she asked, and the room full of representatives cheered. She then let everyone know that they could buy their own copy of the DVD to loan to resistant recruiting targets, or could borrow hers. After all, she enthused, if these prospectives don't turn into "active and qualified consultants," they've missed the opportunity of a lifetime. And we wouldn't want that, would we?

Almost two hours into the meeting, Bambi got around to introductions. She went first, explaining that as a district sales representative, she had over 30 "active and qualified consultants" reporting to her. The next woman, we were told, had over 25 and would surely become a new district sales represntative within the next two weeks. Of the remaining women, all but one had joined Mary Kay within 3 months. The exception said, with an embarrased smile, that she'd been a “hobby level” consultant for three years but she had decided to focus on being a Mary Kay representative full time now that she was staying home with her baby. I felt more than a little bad for the roomful of enthusiastic "active and qualified consultants" at that point. Given the fact that only two people in the room had been trying to build a Mary Kay business for more than 3 months, I'm guessing there is a sharp dropoff rate in representatives once the first rush of "Oh, let's help MK get her business going" parties is over.

Introductions over, we went on to another video, this one announcing the new products and a new promotion, I Love Lipstick. The video featured a peppy soundtrack and glossy, high production value shots. Thankfully, it was relatively short. Finally, we went over upcoming scheduled events. This is the point where I decided that Mary Kay is not just a MLM scam, it's a cult. MK's group of representatives meets every Wednesday for this meeting, plus conference calls every Thursday and Sunday nights to discuss recruiting strategy, conference calls Saturday morning to discuss sales tactics, and additional training meetings every other Saturday afternoon and every fourth Monday.

A little more than hours after arriving, I was back in the car with MK, enduring my final indignity of the evening: her sales pitch. I explained again that I had no interest in joining. At this point she suggested that, since she knew how much I enjoyed my computer, she thought I should become an internet representative and sell over the computer. She managed to sound like she believed that if I put up a website to sell Mary Kay orders would flock to my door. Besides, she said enthusiastically, surely your online friends will want to buy from you! I managed to keep from snickering at the idea of trying to sell makeup to the fine people I meet in World of Warcraft, particularly my Horde friends. Hey StillUndead, I've got just the thing for your skin problem! At any rate, I did what any self respecting married woman does when she needs an excuse: I threw my darling husband under the bus. I explained to MK that I couldn't possibly agree to become a Mary Kay consultant without my husband's go-ahead, and escaped inside.

At any rate, the party was today. Of all the people who had expressed such interest in coming to MK's debut facial party, exactly two showed. Thankfully, MK didn't use her flip chart, and we all had a lovely time. In return for my all week manic housecleaning and purchase of snack foods that no one sampled, I got the opportunity to purchase $75 worth of products for only $35. Whee! Based on my wonderful results, I was able to gently explain to MK that I didn't think I should cut into her profit potential by becoming a consultant, since some of the people from our work might then by from me instead. Point made, she gave up gracefully, leaving me with my uneaten party trays to clean up.

On the plus side, my living room looks the best it has in ages. Even so, the next time I'm invited to a Mary Kay meeting, I'm running for the hills!

In addition to the site listed above, I recommend checking out Mary Kay Opinions if you really want to know more. This site has many wiki topics both pro and con linked, as well as some vehement discussion on both sides.

If you've read this far and still think Mary Kay sounds interesting, I recommend going to The Truth on MLM. Among other things, the extensive data collected there shows that over a ten year period, approximately 99.9% of representatives for product based MLMs can expect to lose money! Yikes!

The Villification of Big Bird

You ever just have one of those days when you spend way too much time wondering what is wrong with people? Or when your brain threatens to comically explode, mini-nuclear-warhead style, when someone says something so completely out of whack with reality that you just can't process it?

That's how I felt when I heard some congressional Republicans are threatening to cut off all funding for PBS if it doesn't eliminate its 'liberal bias'.

I admit, I don't watch a lot of PBS news programs. The ones I've seen, though, have a definate tendancy towards dry-and-boring. It's hard for me to see an overwhelming bias coming from guys who barely seem to have pulses.

But let's assume, for the sake of argument, that PBS news programs do in fact have a liberal bias. If so, that should be addressed directly, with the programs in question. Threatening to cut off funding for PBS entirely is way out of line.

Show of hands: who here remembers watching Sesame Street? Or the Electric Company? Nova? Wild Kingdom? Who watches Antique Roadshow? Or Masterpiece Theatre? PBS puts on more interesting and educational programs in a week than some other stations do in a year. News is such a small portion of what they do, it barely even shows up on my radar. The idea that anyone could be so shallow as to threaten all the good PBS does because of a perceived bias in a handful of shows sickens me. In fact, I think I'll write my congresspeople and tell them so.

How about you?

Today's recommended song: Another Brick In The Wall (Part II) by Pink Floyd. "We don't need no education"

The Birth of a Legend

I admit it- after the spectacular suckfest that was Batman and Robin, I had difficulty getting my enthusiasm up for the latest attempt to adapt the Batman comic franchise to the screen. It was much easier to get excited about Spiderman, or the theoretical Superman projects that make the rounds. Maybe it's because I identify more with Bruce Wayne's not-quite-healthy brooding vigilantism than Peter Parker's wisecracking wallcrawler or Clark Kent's relentless optimism. Whatever the case, despite glowing reports from everyone who'd already seen it, I approached Batman Begins with the mantra "Please, please let them get it right this time."

Mr. Nolan, I apologize. After Memento, which left me seriously freaked out for days, I should have known better. If anyone could direct a proper Batman film, it was you. Mea culpa.

If you haven't already seen this movie, please skip the rest of this review and go directly to the theatre of your choice for the first available showing. I don't want to have to worry about blowing things for you, and I estimate you have about ten minutes before someone else, bubbling over with the euphoria this movie creates, does so accidentally. Get going! I mean it!

There is so much to like about this movie. Despite the large cast, you felt that every character was present in all their dramatic complexities. All our favorite supporting cast was there: Alfred, Jim Gordon, even Lucius Fox. I have to admit I got a particular thrill out of Morgan Freeman's Lucius, a particular favorite of mine from the comic books who, IMNSHO, never got the level of treatment he deserves. And Cilian Murphy's Scarecrow was creepy and interesting enough to have been a full villain, not just a second stringer. The sets and cinematography were masterfully done. All in all, this stands so far beyond the previous films that it seems churlish to even have any complaints.

I do, though. It's a small thing, really, but everything else about this movie was so spot on that my perceived flaw seems much larger by comparison. At the very end of the final battle, Batman utters the line, "I won't kill you. But that doesn't mean I have to save you." Huh? We're talking about Batman, a man completely obsessed with saving lives. Admittedly, the villain wasn't incapacitated, and we have every reason to believe he will make it out of this alive and just as dangerous to our hero as before. However, the implication of the line is that Batman does not care if the villain lives or dies. There were no other players on the scene who needed his assistance to escape. The idea that Batman would not attempt to aid the villain was, in my opinion, ridiculous. If the rest of the movie hadn't been so darn perfect, I might not even have noticed. As it was, it was the single glaring error in an otherwise flawless outing, and it stood out like the first scratch on a new car.

Obviously, the only way to rectify this is to bring the entire team back for a second movie, even better than the first. I know you can do it, Mr. Nolan.

Today's recommended song: Bonnie Tyler's I Need a Hero. Enough said. Still a classic. If you want a twist, go listen to the Shrek 2 version.

What Did YOU Do Today?

I just got back from donating blood. The Red Cross called me last week to say that our area is down to a 20 hour supply of blood (ideally, there would be three days' worth). Since I'm a listed donor and I was eligible to give blood currently, they called and asked me to sign up for a blood drive. I believe in giving blood, so I signed up. All it takes is a little time, and a willingness to not do any heavy lifting for five hours (no problems there). Easy, right?

Apparently not. From September 2003 to September 2004, only 28.8% of Americans over age 16 volunteered at least once for an organization. (See http://www.bls.gov/news.release/volun.nr0.htm for all the gritty details). That means more than 7 out of 10 people gave nothing of their time during the whole year.

I know finding time isn't always the easiest thing to do, and the volunteer work we do for others may not seem as important, as, say, catching this week's episode of Desperate Housewives. But come on, people! Volunteering is a great way to make an impact. As a Christian, I feel that volunteering is an important way to give back to the community and the world. Life is about making a difference, leaving things better than when you found them. We may not all have money, but we all have time. So go on, give a little bit of yourself. Start small if you have to. I bet if you call 1-800-GIVE-LIFE (1-800-448-3543) they can tell you where there's a blood drive in your area tomorrow.

So tell me... what did YOU do today to make our world a better place?

Today's recommended song: We Care a Lot by Faith No More. Sarcastic, biting, and hysterical. "It's a dirty job / But someone's got to do it"

Imagine a Mirror

Hello and welcome to my world. You can call me Whimsy. It's as real a name as any, and possibly more, since it's the name I've chosen for myself.

If you've found this page, you probably already know a little bit about me. My description for this blog is "Opinions on current events, pop culture, computer games, and anything else that strikes the fancy of a liberal Christian, World of Warcraft addicted, genuine girl geek." My intention in this blog is to get out my viewpoint, on both the light and the heavy issues. There'll be a lot of entertainment and entertaining stuff, but I hope that I'll also make you think about some of the controversial issues facing our world today.

So, the obligatory background stuff: I'm 31 (okay, okay, I'll be 32 next week), married, no kids. I work in a call center for one of the 'Big Three' automakers, in the customer service department. I started out taking customer calls, but nowadays I handle outgoing goodwill (items or services the company gives a customer who has had issues with their vehicle). I also have a bachelor's degree in Animal Bioscience and a master's degree in Animal Science. I'll tell you that story in a future entry. I collect fashion dolls, my husband collects action figures, and we both collect comic books. This makes our house very crowded, especially since we both hate to clean. Since we have a true marriage of equals, that means we generally don't clean more than the bare minimum. To relax, I like to go to the movies or read just about anything.

Today's recommended song: Mirror by The Beautiful South. A haunting song about possibilities and realities. "So imagine a mirror / Bigger than the room it was placed in / Imagine my wish for a future that cannot hold my wish" I hope this blog will become a place where we reflect ideas bigger than ourselves.